Another One

I have ascended a new Kishiro Sutato to become a dragon.#ZenKoiGame –


Hallmark, You Have Failed Me

Alas, you seem to have no cards that can properly express, “Happy Birthday, You Ungrateful Bitch”.

It’s gonna be a loooong day. Oh, well. All in all, I guess I did the best I could. Perfectionism rears it’s ugly head in parenting, too. 

What if I’d fought just a little harder to express that the medicine they gave me for the pain was making me hallucinate that they had to remove your head to get you out of me? 
What if I didn’t cry for hours because the milk from my body was causing your tiny little body to turn yellow with poisonous bilirubin. And later, crying as I diligently pumped that same milk out every 4 hours and threw it down the sink, and gave you a bottle full of foul smelling soy crap… to give you a break for a few days. 

And later, as depression settled in, what if I found the words to break through to them that I needed Help, not their words, “C-section is such an easy surgery to recover from.” Or “Aren’t you glad you have a healthy baby?” 

What if you’d had a normal Mommy, not the one who was terrified that you, the most precious thing in the universe, could be harmed or taken away in a moment, because the world always seemed to work that way.

Happy Birthday